Oh Dear.

My life is truly a mortifying mess.

I'm actually extremely late typing this, because this happened almost three weeks ago.

I haven't had time to blog or much lately--finals week is next week (!) and after that, I'll be done with my freshman year of high school! :D

So I've been studying studying studying studying studying. I've already taken my physics final--that's over and done with, thank goodness! I'm taking my Spanish final in class tomorrow, and I've already taken half of it today. All that's left is History, Math, and English...three of the subjects I struggle most with =\

Anyways. I'm getting off track. What was I saying again?

Oh yeah. My life is mortifying.

So I liked this boy. We are good friends. Then finally I got up the courage to tell him "Hey. I like you."

You know what he did?

He didn't take me seriously.

In fact, you could say he laughed at me, kind of. He thought I was joking and making it all up just to screw around with his brain, and no matter how much I tried, he WOULDN'T. BELIEVE. ME.

I haven't bothered mentioning it to him because...well...I don't know. It's almost the end of school, anyway. It's just a waste of time, right? I may as well not even bother.

Yeah, I'll keep telling myself that.

And maybe,  just maybe...I'll start believe it.

But...probably not.

God, I'm so naive.

I'm sorry if you're reading this and you're bored. My life is boring.

Gah.

Dueces!

--Ivers

Boys

I actually don't know what to title this post aha. I kind of just need a venting sesh here.

I'm a major tomboy. Now, I hate referring to myself that way (no particular reason) but it's true. I talk like a guy, I act like a guy...I am one of the guys. That's what I am. "One of the Guys." I'm a boy. A dude. A bro. And don't get me wrong, I love my guy friends and I love who I am. I have fun and I love joking around (a lot).

But...I kind of wish I were still a girl.

See, my guy friends don't really see me as a girl...I'm a dude. They treat me like a dude. I've noticed a difference in how they treat me and how they treat other girls. With me, they poke fun of me all the time, tease me, call me names, push me, shove me...NO IT'S NOT BULLYING (my school is completely whack with all the crazy ass extreme bullying BS they have, but that's only my opinion). It's friendly teasing. They're "mean," you could say.

Then they see a girl and they're all sweet, giving hugs and smiles and telling them how, no, they aren't ugly, yes, that shirt is nice, and yeah, her hair is perfect.

This is literally what it's like:

BOY (to me): "You're fat."
ME: "Gee. Thanks. You're severely underweight and have no muscle whatsoever."
BOY (to another girl): "Don't call yourself fat! You're anything but!"

=_=

And the one, amazing, glorious time my friend recognized me as a girl...well...
ME: "I could kick your ass any day of the week."
BOY #1: "Yeah, well...I can't hit a girl..."
BOY #2: "Come on...it's IVEY...."

Here are just a few other examples...

ME (to Boy #2): "Dude, BOY #1 is gay for you, obviously."
BOY #1: "No, I'm gay for YOU."

BOY: "Ivey, you only hang out with guys. That means you're either a slut or a lesbian. And you act like a guy, talk like a guy, walk like a guy...hell, you even eat like a guy. You aren't interested in guys either. You're obviously a lesbian."

Yes, my life is lovely.

BTW, I don't mean to offend anyone by these things. This is my life and if you don't like it, then leave. :P

Anyway...where was I?

Oh, yes.

So I'm a guy. Half-man. Boyish. Whatever you want to call it. My guy friends see me as One of the Guys. And that'd be all right...if I weren't me. Because it's not all right.
See, I have this horrible habit of crushing on my guy friends. I don't know if I'm confusing friendship attraction to romantic attraction, but...I'd say there are quite a few guys I may or may not harbor feelings for in a more-than-friends way. It's stupid and immature and annoying, but I can't help it. My hormones are at their peak right now, I guess...

I forget the entire reason as to why I started this post in the first place lololololololol.

Well anyways, I guess I'd just really like it if guys looked at me and said, "Oh, look. She's a girl," instead of, "Oh, look, it's Ivey. Let's go make fun of how stupid she is."
My older sister is super duper pretty. Guys like her. She's had quite a few boyfriends and guys are attracted to her.

Guys are attracted to me, too...just in a strictly-friendship way.

I've been friend-zoned.

Ouch.

Ah, well.
And life goes on.

Hope you've enjoyed yet another useless point from yours truly.
Over and out.

--Ivers